Scooters in Rock & Roll: The Complete Pickled Priest Posts
I unabashedly love my fat-backed scooter Gladys (and don't call her a moped, she fucking hates it). She puts me in a positive frame of mind, encourages my creativity, and is just the right amount of tame to prevent me from killing myself in the process. Of course, that's still a possibility, but I know for certain that me + motorcycle = death. Scooters are more my speed, I'm not afraid to admit. We do realize scooters may not embody the reckless, primal spirit of rock & roll for some. Rob Halford wouldn't be caught dead rumbling onstage at a Judas Priest show aboard a wimpy 150cc scooter. Robin Zander and Tom Petersson wouldn't have looked anywhere near as cool on the cover of Cheap Trick's In Color if they were on scooters in lieu of motorcycles (although I'd argue Rick Nielsen and Bun E. Carlos riding scooters instead of bikes on the back cover would've been amusing). Even itty-bitty Prince rocked a badass purple cycle on the cover of Purple Rain (though his feet couldn't touch the ground on both sides and we all know it). But it should be said definitively that scooters have their place in rock history, too. Back a few years ago, we did a series of posts titled Scooters in Rock & Roll and here we reprise and expand that effort mainly because it's the middle of winter and we miss our friend Gladys who is currently chilling (literally) in the garage. She deserves better and this post will let her know she is not forgotten. Gladys, this one's for you!
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PT. 1: THE EARLY YEARS
Let's go back to the very origins of rock & roll itself for our first ride. Yes, one of the main architects of rock & roll, none other than Bo Diddley himself, was an avid scooter rider! He was so unapologetic about his love for his scooter he even featured it on the cover of his 1959 LP, Have Guitar Will Travel. And travel he did! On a real slick 1957 Cushman “Step Thru” Scooter with a beautiful two-tone red and French vanilla paint job customized with his name on the rear flank and, I assume in a tribute to his signature beat, his first name written not once, but twice, “Bo! Bo Diddley!” (if you didn't read that to a Bo Diddley beat, what's wrong with you?). His choice of scooter model was a perfect match to his personality—it had the same chunky rectangularity of his iconic Cigar Box guitar (pictured). I take some issue with his recklessness behind the wheel, however. He’s not only driving one-handed, he’s also carrying his guitar over his shoulder, which could cause catastrophic damage to the guitar in case of accident (and less importantly, possibly interfere with the safe operation of his scooter). I really wish they had left the photo on the album cover alone, as the image of Bo zipping by on his scooter, guitar in hand, waving to his fans, is perfect as is, but somebody thought superimposing a business card the size of one of those novelty checks they give Lotto winners was a good idea, which it wasn’t. Still, as an artifact for scooter lovers (like me) this is a priceless endorsement of our ultra-hip lifestyle.
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PART 2: THE MODS
You can’t talk about Scooters in Rock and Roll for long without bringing the Who’s homage to Mod culture, Quadrophenia, into the discussion. “Mod” (short for “modernists”) culture actually predated the existence of the Who by several years, first appearing in direct contrast to the “rockers” who were a tougher breed of motorcycle-riding English boys decked out in denim and leather and soundtracked by the early, “dangerous” rock & roll rebels of the late-50s like Eddie Cochran, Johnny Burnette, Gene Vincent, Elvis, and many others. Mods, on the other hand, were well-dressed scooter riders who liked hip jazz music initially before adopting beat-driven soul, ska, and British Invasion-styled bands of the later 60s. In other words, they were into the “next big thing” and more forward thinking regarding fashion and music. We call these types of people hipsters nowadays. Did I fail to mention pills? Oh, yeah, lots and lots of pills, too. No wonder mods and rockers were known to clash on the streets of London during the first half of the 60s.* They were all jacked up and ready to go.
The Who soon became a favorite of this group as a result of their beat-intensive early singles (“My Generation,” “Substitute,” “The Kids Are Alright,” “Happy Jack,” etc) and a love affair was born. The Who’s Quadrophenia, released after the prime years of the Mod era had passed, wasn’t so much a love letter to mod culture as it was a takedown of its preposterous, superficial foundation. But the kids had to do something rebellious, right? It all seemed like a good idea at the time and even now seems kind of appealing if you ask me. Nothing has really changed when you think about it.
What made the era particularly cool, beyond the incredible music, were the scooters—the chosen conveyance of Mods everywhere (a slap in the face to motorcycle rockers surely). Scooters were in their glory days back then, at the height of their popularity, and contrary to today (depending on whom you ask), they were actually considered to be pretty damn cool. So much so, the kids really decked them out to be showpieces. How else to stand out from the crowd? The most common way to do so was to attach numerous additional side mirrors and/or headlamps to almost sarcastic levels in some cases (see photos). They could become quite a spectacle. In the Quadrophenia movie, there are some truly amazing scooters on display—including one ridden by
a then-unknown Sting (photo below) in his role as Mod icon “Ace Face” (pre-Ace Frehley). Many of the scooters in the movie are classic Vespas, either actual or modeled after the classic GS 160 model favored by “real” Mods back in the day. (Although the main character, Jimmy, actually rode a Lambretta LI 150 Series 3 until he flew off a cliff a la Thelma and Louise). From a design standpoint, the scooter has never looked better in my opinion than they did in the late-60s. There is just something appealing about that era of scooter design. These days, in the vast majority of cases, modern functionality and pricing-related compromises have sapped the scooter of its iconic design pedigree, which is a crying shame. But if you're like me and you want to revel in scooters as they were meant to be, and with an amazing soundtrack to boot, look no further than Quadrophenia.
*Famously, when the Beatles were asked if they were mods or rockers, Ringo smartly side-stepped the problematic issue by responding, “Um no. I’m a mocker.” Humor has always been a red herring, in this case deftly wielded to avoid official implied support for either group. (In truth, they were both, of course.)
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PART 3: MID-90S "MOD"ERN
In this post, we’re going back over a quarter century to check in with Oasis and their bloated behemoth of an album, Be Here Now, from 1997 (a better title would’ve been Be Here Now and Be Here An Hour From Now). They would tell you differently, of course, but they were already on the downslope of their relevance at the time, already two years beyond their last great album, (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? Yet, even today, they walk around like they were, and are, the modern day Beatles. Their loyal fans are doing nothing to dissuade them of that egotistical conceit either (ticket requests for their reunion tour shut down the net in England pretty much). Thankfully, the boys redeem themselves somewhat by also being dedicated scooter enthusiasts, so today we celebrate them for that fact. The album itself is only a sidecar in this tale.
Oasis's 71-minute “epic” suffered from delusions of grandeur to be sure and the cover was a ham-fisted attempt at profundity as well. In reality, the story, morning glory, is that Noel picked a bunch of props from the BBC warehouse and positioned them around the pool of a house none of them even lived in at the time and hired a photographer to make it look artsy. The only object of any real interest to me, however, was the fantastic scooter in the foreground, an absolutely stunning red and black 1955 Zündapp Bella owned by Liam Gallagher and purchased a few years earlier.
The Zündapp company was, you guessed it, a German manufacturer that made motorcycles for the Nazis during WWII (hence the color palette—be thankful they didn't work in a swastika) and after that seized on the scooter craze in Italy by introducing the weighty yet robust Bella model in 1953. The bike is a beast, with two individual seats to provide max comfort for pilot and guest, and an elongated, sturdy frame on which to ride. Notice the sweet, easy-access foot rail as well. This bike was made for a long, winding, comfortable ride through the German countryside, but was also capable of navigating some nasty London traffic, too. At 200 cc’s it would give a rock star just enough power to escape throngs of autograph seekers still clinging to the illusion that their band has serious cultural relevance.
I'm harsh, but in truth the album, while undoubtedly overcooked, would actually be pretty damn great if you could chop about two minutes from every song with a run time of over five-minutes (nine of the twelve songs, I’m sad to report). This is what happens when you have too much creative capital, a massive budget, and a group of guys who spend more time brawling at the pub (with each other) than they do in the studio. That said, they made enough lettuce to buy themselves some killer scooters along the way and that’s mostly what counts. I can't leave without pointing out a key fact: They drove the Rolls Royce into the pool, but their beloved scooter is safe and sound, sunning itself on the pool’s deck, front and center just like it should be.
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PT. 4: 2-TONE
Also a part of mod culture was ska music, adopted by kids in the UK in the 1960's, but founded in Jamaica in the 1950s. Naturally, ska, complete with snazzy suits, old-school derbies, and Doc Martens for the guys and pencil skirts, thigh-high socks or tights, and patterned dresses (among other things) for the girls, it was its own unique thing. There was even a revival in the late-70s sparked by the advent of legendary label, 2-Tone Records, which featured bands like the Specials, the Beat, Madness, and the Selecter (to name a few of the biggies). Scooters were, and continue to be, popular in the ska crowd (which has never died 100%), and the image included here is one of the iconic visuals of the genre (I have a sticker of it affixed to Gladys, of course). It's clearly based on the classic Vespa silhouette, which is not surprising. Whenever you see a black and white checked pattern, a scooter isn't far behind.
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PT. 5: GENRE-FLEXIBLE
Welcome to the fifth installment of Scooters in Rock & Roll, where we celebrate the scooter, the ultimate form of rock & roll rebellion! This time, we’re checking in with Latin jazz artist Rene Grand and His Combo New York and their record, Exciting and Grand, from 1967. Yes, we know this may not technically qualify as rock & roll, but who cares? I certainly don’t feel we need to get genre fussy when we’re talking classic scooters. Rene Grand never made a huge splash during his relatively modest career, but you’d never know it by his expression on this album cover. He exudes an “If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere” enthusiasm that people sometimes get caught up in when visiting the Big Apple. With his arms outstretched in triumph and a bright smile across his face, he’s clearly on top of the world—not to mention looking quite dapper in his snazzy tuxedo. Perhaps his excitement is partly due to the fact he’s been zipping around on a 1966 Honda Super Cub 50 right there, smack dab in the middle of downtown Manhattan, like a madman. Or maybe he’s just excited to still be alive after braving the notoriously dangerous streets of NYC with just 49 itty-bitty cc’s at his disposal. I know I wouldn’t touch Manhattan asphalt without at least triple that power at the very least. And riding without a helmet in a taxi is a risk in New York, let alone on scooter with a glorified Honda lawn mower engine as its power plant. We’re talking death trap or suicide rap depending on your mental state. The record, like the scooter, is a complete treat as well, loaded with mambos, cha chas, boleros, and merengues, all with tight arrangements and killer piano playing by the Grand master of scooters and sambas himself! Buy the ticket and take the ride, folks.
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PT. 6: COOL FOR CATS
There ain't nothin' jazz can't make cool, scooters included. And there's perhaps no album cover scooter I covet as much as Count Basie's classic 1956 Piaggio Vespa 150GS in grigio alluminio metallizato, or gray aluminum metallic in English, which doesn't make it sound nearly as sophisticated. The Italians simply knew what they were doing when it came to scooter design, hence the wasp's longevity (Vespa translated). This model was one of their masterpieces from front to back—simple, sleek, and stunning. And who better to demonstrate these qualities than the legendary and dapper Count Basie? He looks positively regal in this photo, ready for a night on the town in Manhattan, where the album was recorded. The beauty of the scooter is that there are no pretensions. How often have you seen a motorcyclist in a suit? Extremely rare. Usually, it's a guy with his lady on the back, dressed in a motorcycle t-shirt with a Harley vest or jacket, jeans with chaps, and a pair of black steel-toed boots (even in the summer!). It's all about image on a motorcycle. The scooter is far more flexible. Suit? Fine. Shorts? Fine (but pray you don't lay it down!). Flip flops, Crocs, baseball hat, sweats, dress, tuxedo, jeans, you name it, it's fine with your scooter. Just fire it up and fly. The rare accident could result in a nasty road rash or worse, but the comfort is worth it, not to mention a stiff breeze running through your crotch area. I can image the Count's scooter helped him zip through the streets of the city, bopping from studio to gig to hotel with ease. May we all look as good as the Count does here someday. It's my dream to own one of these beauties someday. It would certainly up my scooter game substantially if I did.
OK, I can sense some frustration from you over the title of this series. I know it's called Scooters in Rock & Roll but since they've elected several jazz artists into the Rock Hall of Fame, it seems only fair to extend our analysis into any musical area that celebrates the scooter in all its glory. I've only scratched the surface of this subject, which is not intended to be comprehensive in nature, but with that in mind, read on for a few additional curated scooter covers, all of which form a small part of the scooter's musical history.
LOCO-MOTION
The Ventures' guitar-based rock and roll was a revelation back in the early-60s and beyond. You can't relive the 60s without "Walk Don't Run"—it just wouldn't be right. And if you were lucky enough to score an invite to a Ventures Dance Party, there was no better way to get there than on a classic 1962 Vespa 150S. And these babies weren't just for the guys either, they were perfect for the ladies, too, as demonstrated above. You just had to be a little creative when wearing a short skirt or the wind might reveal your grassy knoll to the general public. We're all for equal opportunity scootering.
BONE TO RUN
I can't tell the model with 100% certainty, but this is likely another sweet early-60s Vespa, and what a classic era is was for the Italian manufacturer! Earlier we found Bo Diddley riding with his guitar slung over his shoulder, but here we find Wilbur De Paris toting his awkward trombone all over town, an activity fraught with potential safety issues. I'm not sure if he's jury-rigged a trombone holster to hold his bone while navigating busy streets and bridges of New York, but I hope so.
GIRL MAGNETS?
You might think the scooter would be a turnoff to the opposite sex and you would be wrong about that—at least back in the day they weren't. In fact, scooters were actually cool back then. I think we've proven that beyond a reasonable doubt. Today, in the era of toxic masculinity and trucks with balls hanging from the hitch, the scooter is more of a challenging sell to dudes, but this pic of yet another classic Vespa could change that perception. Let's face it, trying to be cool is the ultimate way to prove you're not. Doing whatever you like and feel without regard to what others think? Now that's real cool in our book. Who wouldn't be attracted to someone like that? So should you get a scooter then? Oui oui oui oui!
I love this album cover, posed though it may be. The ubiquitous 60s Vespa, featuring a sexy girl on the back, is further proof that this aphrodisiac on wheels has game despite the douchebaggy look of its beret clad navigator. On top of that, he's got the kickstand down, which means he's ain't going anywhere at the moment. Good thing, too, because side-saddle is no way to ride on a scooter. If he wipes out around a sharp corner her legs are going to be ground down to her bloody kneecaps at least. She's clearly giving him the green light to do something, though, so he better do it fast or this bird might fly the coop.
(Don't go back to) Hicksville! Clearly Jazzville is where all the cool cats hang out, although it looks to me like the hipsters are moving on without this buxom scooter enthusiast with the super stylish 1957 Lambretta LD 125. In a sea of Vespas, it's always great see a Lamb get some love, especially with the twin seats and rear-mounted spare. She's really going to stand out on this one even if she dons a sweater or changes out of those fabulous mariachi pants. There's no going wrong here. Jazzville here I come!
As if Nils Tibor's organ wasn't intriguing enough (you haven't lived until you've heard "Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep" on a Hammond), here we find a girl seemingly from the future drawn to the German's shitty blue scooter (looks cheap, brand unidentifiable). Further proof that the ladies love a scooter in any time and in any place. Is this really what sunglasses look like in the future?
Do the Germans have a time travel portal or something? Again, we see a girl from another time, here wrapped in a haute couture tin foil number, intrigued by a vintage Vespa model and very much looking like she's about to change the oil on this baby blue beauty while Will Glahé performs "Mexican Puppeteer" on the accordion (aka akkordeon). How many turn-ons can there be in one photo at one time? This oughta be illegal.
SCOOTERS = FREEDOM
The scooter is bad, it's worldwide! Everywhere you go, people like, or want, their freedom. If you're not feeling very free in one moment, a scooter ride will give you a taste of what you crave. And nothing accompanies and enhances that freedom more than music. Even in Nigeria, the scooter, another Vespa in this case, is a way to take you and your wide-mouth necktie wherever you want to go. So there you have it. Can it be a coincidence that the scooter keeps showing up on album covers? I think not.
SCOOTERS IN ROCK & ROLL, PT. 7: PRESENT DAY
Reprinted from 2024's New Music Mixtape #5 (slightly abridged):
Over the years, we have never made any attempt to hide our love of scooters and scooter culture even though motorcyclists might scoff in our general direction when we pass. We get the last laugh by forcing them to return a reluctant peace sign when we buzz by them on a local road with a sub-40 speed limit. Our only regret is that we weren't British teenagers when the Mod craze kicked in in the mid-1960s. That said, even though we missed that ride, we do take special note of any new scooter-related songs (admittedly not many) and here we have one from an unlikely source—the gruff and tough Sturgill Simpson, aka Johnny Blue Skies. We didn't see that coming, to say the least. While the song is a bit heavy on the cheese, more Kenny Chesney than I'd care to admit, I can allow a little "flip flop" country into my life if it involves an afternoon scooter excursion complete with wind in hair and positive attitude all the way. When I get on my scooter, I immediately transform into a more lighthearted person, free and easy, cheerful and friendly. If I wrote a song about it maybe mine, too, would sound just like as airy and borderline goofy as this one. Passing grade granted on content alone.
So there you have it, all we've written on scooters in music. An empty tank even when getting 95 miles to the gallon. That is, until we discover the next scooter loving rock and roller down the road somewhere.
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Gotta scoot.
Cheers,
The Priest
cc: Gladys